"I Shall Not Want"

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Over the past few weeks, I've found freedom in naming fears and acknowledging insecurities- and then meditating on God's promises.  Recently, a friend sent me an Audrey Assad song called "I Shall Not Want," and I have been meditating on its powerful lyrics ever since.

Where we are filled with worry or doubt or confusion, Christ shines His light to illuminate the truth (Psalm 25:5).  Jesus invites us to lay down our daily frustrations, upcoming decisions, and anticipated changes - whatever the challenges of our present circumstances - to take up His yoke and experience His rest (Matthew 11:28-30).

What is He asking you to surrender today?  May we pause to taste His goodness, sense His leading, and know His peace.

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me, oh God

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me, oh God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness, I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me, oh God

Friendship: A High Calling [Part 4: Being a Friend]

This is the fourth and final post of a four-part series based on the message about friendships that I shared in chapel at Grove City College on February 9, part of the college's Focus Week on relationships.  To listen to the complete message, click here.  If you've missed the other three posts in this series, you can find them here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

There are lots of great tips out there for how to be a friend!  As I was preparing to share with the students of Grove City College, the Lord brought these three things to mind.  They certainly aren't a magical formula or an exhaustive list, but they are a starting point for developing genuine friendship and modeling Christ in our relationships.

1.  Allow God to use you as a "wounded healer."

This idea comes from Henri Nouwen, who writes, "The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there."  This can apply to friendship, too, as we allow God to use our past challenges for His redemptive purposes.  The idea is not to impose our experiences on others as if we can somehow fix them, but rather to "mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15).

Last April, one of my college friends died in a tragic car accident.  I can attest to the fact that grief strengthens bonds in inexpressible ways.  In a sacred moment amidst the tragedy, God miraculously provided for the other nine of us to gather on Skype from Cameroon to Seattle, Washington, to sit in shock, to remind each other of truth, and to pray together.

Just a few weeks ago, one of those friends had the opportunity to be a wounded healer.  The husband of her mentor died suddenly of a heart attack.  She expressed to me that, in the midst of the grief and pain of this time, she was able to connect with her mentor in a new way because of her own mourning and loss last spring.  I believe that this is not only part of Erica's legacy, but even more, God's redemption.  He says, "Yes, I can use even this.  I know your loss, and I have been your Comforter.  Now, show My comfort and love to your friend."

When others are struggling and we're tempted to take a few steps back, to give them their space and let them "get back to normal," let's choose instead to take steps forward and see how the Spirit wants to use our brokenness as a blessing.

2.  Enter into their world.

Physically going to the places that are important to our friends can be incredibly meaningful!  It was a huge gift to have several friends come to Germany while I was teaching there.  They got to see some touristy European sites, but they also joined my English class and went grocery shopping with me - they entered into my daily life.  Hospitality is a mutual blessing; give each other opportunities to extend this gift, and it will be an eye-opening encounter for you both.  You will be able to understand your friend's fears, frustrations, and priorities in a whole new way.

And if you can't physically go to their world, you can still enter in by listening to their stories and learning about what's important to them!  Telling stories about our hometowns and growing-up experiences can help us to understand each other better even if we have not lived those years together.

One Christmas break, my roommate and I traveled to Edinburgh, Scotland, for a few days.  Before we had even arrived at our hotel, we both were feeling sick with a stomach bug.  As we attempted to redeem the day, I remembered that I had loaded all of my childhood home videos onto my computer.  Needless to say, Brittany entered into my world in a whole new way on that trip!  No, not everyone has to be the friend who watches your home videos with you!  But, I invite you to lean into knowing your friends on a new level by asking good questions and caring about the answers.

And along with this, can I encourage you to let others into your world?  If we build up walls of protection against vulnerability, we are really shielding ourselves from the potential of deep relationships.

3.  Keep your eyes open for opportunities to be a friend.

As I was preparing to share in Grove City College's chapel, I asked my grandma about her experiences with friendships over the years.  She told me that her daily prayer is this: "Lord, open my eyes to see who You would give me today to befriend."  He's asking us to look up, look around, and listen for His prompting.  Let's not miss whom He is putting in our paths: Will we have eyes to see?  

"I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."  (Ephesians 4:1-3)

How have you been impacted by friends who have taken these tips to heart?

What advice would you add to this list?

Game Changers

game changer (n.)  //  a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way

As I consider how the Lord has been growing me since I returned to the States last summer, I can point to several "game changers"...

My Coloring Book

Coloring books aren't just for kids anymore!  Okay, how does this relate to my faith journey?  The book I have is full of verses and designs.  As I fill in the spaces with color, I repeat the words over and over in my head, allowing God to cement these truths into my heart.

Simply coloring has been a great stress reliever and has caused me to take time to pause.  I've never been very good at sitting still and just reflecting.  I have found that coloring God's promises has created a margin for meditating on His Word in a new way.

"I meditate on Your precepts and consider Your ways.  I delight in Your decrees; I will not neglect Your word."  Psalm 119:15-16

My Small Group Bible Study

A few weeks after I started attending North Way Christian Community Church in Oakland (back in September), I got connected with a small group of young professionals.  I'm so grateful for the way we can share openly and challenge each other in our faith!

Even more, the workbook that we selected has kept me accountable to reading Scripture daily and digging deeper into God's Word.  The study on 1 and 2 Samuel that we just completed was a reminder to me of the holiness and sovereignty of God, as well as an opportunity to recommit to obey His leading in the big and the small moments.


My Mom's Guitar

When I lived in Germany, I was spoiled to have a piano in my apartment.  Although it was challenging to find a time to play that didn't interfere with Germany's "quiet hours," I enjoyed having it for times of worship with my roommate, my small group, or gatherings of friends.

Since I don't have a piano right now, I'm attempting to tackle an item on my bucket list: learning to play the guitar!  My mom generously allowed me to bring her guitar to Pittsburgh with me, and Brittany has taught me new chords and playing tips each time she has visited from Toronto.  I'm still very much a beginner, but being able to sing worship songs each day has been a huge blessing this year!

What have been some faith "game changers" for you?

Friendship: A High Calling [Part 3: Mentorship]

This post is the third of a four-part series based on the message about friendships that I shared in chapel at Grove City College on February 9, part of the college's Focus Week on relationships.  To listen to the complete message, click here.

Many of you already know about my passion for a third type of friendship: mentorship.  During my college years, I realized the importance of having someone pouring into me while I was pouring into others.  This natural flow is represented here in this image.  The pitcher on the left represents a person who uses his or her unique passions and gifts to pour into the lives of others (the cup on the right).

It's easy to see that continuing like this will lead to an empty pitcher.  Thus, it is essential that this pitcher is also poured into by another pitcher, another person faithfully serving Christ by investing in people.  While we can certainly be filled by peer friendships, I believe there is something uniquely empowering when it's an older mentor.  

Ideally, this "cascade of mentorship" continues through whole communities, as believers faithfully live out their callings in relationship with one another, "one generation commend[ing] [God's] works to another" (Psalm 145:4).

This image stayed with me as I entered the "real world" and moved to Germany.  I welcomed the opportunity to lead a small group of high school girls, and many of you have prayed with me for these girls over the past 5+ years!

However, in that first year as their small group leader, I realized that, in order to maintain balance in my life, I needed to also have someone pouring into me.  At the end of my first year in Germany, I asked a woman in the community to be my mentor, and she became a voice of truth and wisdom for me during my years overseas.  This grew into a desire to spread the vision for connection in intentional relationships, and so began Walking Together. 

Mentorship is seen in the example of Paul and Timothy, whom Paul refers to as his "son in the faith" (1 Tim. 1:2).  Paul instructs Timothy to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 6:12), to "train [himself] to be godly" (1 Tim. 4:7), and not to let anyone look down on him (1 Tim. 4:12).  

Clearly both Paul and Timothy were very busy men.  They were spreading the Gospel all over the known world and equipping the first century church to flourish and grow into a global movement.  They certainly faced obstacles in figuring out a time to meet - imprisonment, shipwreck, dependence on long-distance communication - and all without the Internet!  But Paul intentionally invested in Timothy as a rising leader by inviting him to serve alongside him and affirming his faith.

Do you have someone helping you process life and speaking words of truth into your present circumstances?  Consider if there is someone in your community whom you can ask to meet with you periodically and walk alongside you in this season of life.

It could be that you are in a new place or one with very few believers or surrounded mostly by peers.  Perhaps you've looked around and prayed for someone to invest in you, but you're coming up empty-handed.  It may sound cliche, but I believe that Jesus will provide exactly what we need in His timing.  Perhaps right now He is asking you to listen to His voice and allow Him to mentor you through a dry season.

Proverbs 18:24 says that there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother - that is Jesus, who desires our friendship for life and who was willing to die to make that intimate relationship possible.  In seasons of transition, this has silenced my worrying and abated my attempts to try to make my community look like what I think it should look like.  As we seek Him, Jesus will provide exactly what we need in His timing.

Whether we are sitting in the ashes of loneliness or celebrating in the company of many, we can continue to trust that Jesus will provide exactly the people we need in His timing.  

And more than that, He is always enough.  God's promise to Isaiah is true for us, too: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).

How can you acknowledge God's sovereignty in your current season?

How will you choose to lean into sharing life with others as part of the "cascade of mentorship"?

Friendship: A High Calling [Part 2: Deep Friendship]

This post is the second of a four-part series based on the message about friendships that I shared in chapel at Grove City College on February 9, part of the college's Focus Week on relationships.  To listen to the complete message, click here.

When I was young, I distinctly remember my mom encouraging me not to use the term "best friend." So, although I have had many wonderful friends over the years, I've never given any of them the label "best friend."  I love this idea that we can have lots of friends at the same time, and we don't have to label them with superlatives.  Of course, we may be closer to some than others, but this mentality allows many people to play different roles in our lives.

While last week's focus was companionship, this week is deep friendship.  In his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis writes this:

"Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest [...]  The typical expression of opening friendship would be something like, 'What?  You too?  I thought I was the only one.'"

When I was a freshman at Grove City, my companions-turned-close-friends were my two roommates and two other triple rooms located right below ours.  We sent group emails and reply-all responses to figure out which cafeteria we were going to for dinner.  They waved to me distractingly when I was giving campus tours.  We had a lot of fun together - taking friendship seriously does not mean that it has to be all serious! - but our friendship was and continues to be centered around praying for one another, encouraging one another with Truth, and demonstrating Christ's sacrificial love.

Although we went in all different directions after graduation - literally across the country and around the world - we continued the reply-all emails, in which dinner plans were replaced with life updates.  We have had several reunions, not just to relive college memories, but to create new shared experiences and pray for one another in our current contexts.  These women are friends for life, even as we have made other new deep friendships.

One of my favorite aspects of life in Germany was the community.  There were certainly frustrations and complications of living and working and sharing life with the same people, but for me, this was a life-giving, refining season.  I was challenged to live authentically and was gifted with many companions and close friends.  

I believe that God crosses our paths with others so that He can grow each of us to become more like Himself.  However, it's our responsibility to lean into that calling to be friends.  We can remain as pass-in-the-night roommates, chit-chatting neighbors, or casual acquaintances - or, we can purpose to persevere in getting to know one another and appreciating one another's uniquenesses.

C. S. Lewis continues with this:

"In reality, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting - any of these chances might have kept us apart.  But, for a Christian, there are strictly speaking, no chances [...]  Christ who said to the disciples, 'Ye have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you,' can truly say to every group of Christian friends, 'You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.'  [Friendship] is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others."

In each season of life, there are opportunities to build new friendships and continue growing existing friendships.  God has placed you right where you are in a community of potential companions and friends.  

Are you allowing God to reveal to you the "beauties of all the others" around you?

Are you choosing to appreciate and connect with others around you in this season of life?  

Jesus said, "A new command I give to you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35).  It's our calling to love our close friends in order to demonstrate the love of Christ to the world.

Friendship: A High Calling [Part 1: Companionship]

This post is the first of a four-part series based on the message about friendships that I shared in chapel at Grove City College on February 9, part of the college's Focus Week on relationships.  To listen to the complete message, click here.

We have been taught the art of friend-making since we were young: "If you want to have a friend, you have to be one first."  As toddlers, we learn how to share and play nicely together.  But, friendship goes deeper than that.  I believe we can best live out our calling as friends when we live out our calling as Christians.

Through the writings of Paul, we can get an idea of how we're called to live in relationship with others:

"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love..."  Colossians 3:12-14

" Love must be sincere...  Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves... Practice hospitality.  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another."  Portions of Romans 12

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should not look only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3

Being a friend and living in relationship with others is a high calling!

There are different types of friendships that have value throughout our lives, one of which is companionship.  Companions share the common ground of the same place, same time, and same purpose.  This could be your classmates, teammates, small group members, co-workers...  These friends are important!  They help us feel connected in a group and develop camaraderie while accomplishing a difficult task.

I really value meaningful conversations with people.  I developed an appreciation for an eventual enjoyment of coffee just so I could "meet for coffee" with people!  As someone who values intentional relationships, I might be tempted to overlook the importance of companionship.  But companions need not stick to surface-level conversations.  The Lord can speak through poignant conversations with people we wouldn't consider our closest friends or who are only in our lives for a season.

How is God speaking to you through the people around you?  How can you encourage others who are in the same place at the same time working toward the same purpose as you?

"Bear One Another's Burdens"

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

The past two months have been burden-bearing months.  No, not burdensome, but definitely burden-bearing.

Within the span of a few weeks, several friends had sudden life-threatening medical emergencies and are now undergoing extensive rehab.  Others face situations of grief, loneliness, confusion, and defeat.  I'm sure you could add to the list from your own story and the circumstances of your friends.

It has been a staggering two months of repeatedly entrusting others to Jesus, claiming promises over their situations and singing songs of surrender to the Lord. While it has been challenging to see friends struggle, I am inspired by their courage and honored to pray for them.  As I have entered this battleground on their behalf, I've been reminded that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against... the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).

So I fall on my knees, and I fight like a warrior
I am a warrior on my knees
And I call on the Name of the One who is conquerer
I'm more than a conquerer when I believe
The enemy trembles every time
'Cause He knows the battle is no longer mine
And I fall on my knees and fight like a warrior
- "Warrior" (Steven Curtis Chapman)

Friends, can I humbly ask you to bear my "burdens" by praying for me this week? I'm putting the final touches on two talks I'll be giving at Grove City College next Tuesday.  (Believe it or not, speaking to 1,000+ college students and professors is not the same as a class of twenty middle schoolers!)  I'd appreciate your prayers against anxiety, physical sickness, missed opportunity...  Pray that Truth would be proclaimed and Jesus would be glorified.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power... Therefore, put on the full armor or God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."  Ephesians 6:10, 13

"Facing a Task Unfinished"

After a wonderful week of Christmas celebrations with my family (including 70-degree temps on Christmas Eve... weird!), I headed to St. Louis for the Urbana missions conference!  This was my fourth consecutive Urbana, but hearing the speakers and worshipping with thousands of students never gets old.  

My primary role at Urbana 15, as in 2012, was to share about TeachBeyond with people interested in serving overseas in educational ministry.  Our team connected with over 250 new contacts!  With each conversation came the opportunity to listen to someone's story, share about TeachBeyond's opportunities, and see how God might intersect the two.  

On our first day in the Exhibit Hall, my voice was pretty much gone, and I had to take extended breaks from time at the booth.  In my frustration, I asked, Why am I here if I can't even talk to anyone?!  I only expected my sore throat to get worse over the course of the week.  However, Jesus answered the prayers of friends and family and surprised me with a healthy voice for the rest of the week!  

I was privileged to spend the week with this dynamic mobilization team! 

While there were a number of dynamic speakers and impactful drama presentations throughout the week (you can watch the recordings at Urbana.org), one song in particular has lingered in my mind since returning home from Urbana.  I had the opportunity to introduce "Facing a Task Unfinished" to my home church this Sunday as a part of their missions weekend.  It challenges us to embrace our calling to the Great Commission, no matter where in the world we live.  To my friends who truly embody this song in selfless commitment to Christ: you are an inspiration to me!  Together let's run this race with perseverance, fixing our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12).

"Facing a Task Unfinished"
(Click here to listen to the song and read more about the story behind it)

Facing a task unfinished that drives us to our knees
A need that, undiminished, rebukes our slothful ease
We who rejoice to know Thee renew before Thy throne
The solemn pledge we owe Thee to go and make Thee known

Where other lords beside Thee hold their unhindered sway
Where forces that defied Thee defy Thee still today
With none to heed their crying for life and love and light
Unnumbered souls are dying and pass into the night

We go to all the world
With kingdom hope unfurled
No other name has power to save
But Jesus Christ the Lord

We bear the torch that flaming fell from the hands of those
Who gave their lives proclaiming that Jesus died and rose
Ours is the same commission, the same glad message ours
Fired by the same ambition, to Thee we yield our powers

O Father who sustained them, O Spirit who inspired
Savior whose love constrained them to toil with zeal untried
From cowardice defend us, from lethargy awake
Forth on Thine errands send us to labor for Thy sake

Grace Point friends visited me at the TeachBeyond booth!

It was wonderful to reconnect with Hannah, who was in my small group at BFA! 

What I Miss & What I Love

I've come to realize that beginning a new chapter means embracing grief and loss and change.  There is truly no better word than "bittersweet" to describe the tug of war between missing one home, one job, one life - and jumping into the newness of another.

There are many moments when I think just how grateful I am for this new normal in Pittsburgh.  Returning to my house feels like coming "home," and I now know some people in this city by name!  But, there are also times when I can hardly look through photos from the past five years.

Many of you have asked me this question: Do you miss teaching/BFA/life in Germany?  It's a fair question, but I may have given you a confusing answer.  That's probably because the answer is yes, no, and I'm not sure!  I'm living in the reality (and some of you are, too) of deep loss mixed with invigorating hope.  Some days are more of one than the other, but God's grace is present in both.

So, in case I can't articulate my thoughts when you ask me - or we just don't have enough time! - here's my answer:

I miss my students.  I can picture my very first class of fourth graders six years ago, now freshmen in high school.  I miss hearing their stories and knowing what they care about these days.
But, I love knowing that my students are thriving.  I see their Facebook posts about basketball games and banquet dates, and I know that they are continuing to grow.  They are taking steps further into independence and, I pray, deeper with Jesus.

I miss having students.  On top of the students themselves, I miss my role as a teacher.  I miss how my students made me laugh and made me think, kept me active and kept me humble.
But, I love getting to recruit the next wave of teachers.  Taking a step out of the classroom has given me the opportunity to interact with the teachers, RAs, and administrators of tomorrow.

I miss getting to speak in German.  True, many days I didn't need to speak German because of the English-speaking BFA bubble.  But on any given day, I could walk out my door and find countless opportunities to speak the language.  Needless to say, it's a bit harder to find that now.
But, I love the familiarity of English!  It has been complicated enough getting all of my utilities payments set up, getting plugged into a church, and deciding which groceries to purchase.  I really don't know how I did it all in another language.

I miss being involved in God's work in Kandern.  I miss learning from mentors and friends in that community, getting to pour my heart into service, and seeing everything I did as part of my calling to BFA.  This loss is the biggest by far, but I see God's grace in providing continued connection with these people and ministries from a distance.
But, I love knowing that God is at work here, too.  I am grateful for my small group, which has helped me to begin to feel known in Pittsburgh.  Although I feel like I'm back at square one with being involved, I can volunteer with OCC and bake cookies for college students during finals and ask God to keep showing me opportunities to be His hands and feet.

During this season, I miss walking around Christmas markets.  With crepes and waffles, wooden huts and castle views.  I miss huddling around burning logs at the local festival and drinking warm punch out of beautiful mugs.  Somehow, Christmas has brought out the deepest pangs of missing life in Germany.
But, I love that Pittsburgh has its own traditions.  New memories will be made here.  I inhale deep breaths of hope as I consider what is to come in this new season.  I often said it when I first moved to Germany, and it rings true now, too: It's not better or worse, just different.

It doesn't take an international move to experience loss.  What do you miss, and what are you loving in this season?  I believe that sharing not only creates genuine conversation, but also normalizes these emotions.  Whether seemingly simple or weighty, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas!

I put the final touch on a grad school assignment as my roommate wraps up her studying for the night.  There is always more work to be done, but we take a break and head downstairs.  It's time to decorate for Christmas!

Our living room, ready for the season!

Opening my box of ornaments is like unearthing a time capsule.  I am immediately ushered back to the travels and adventures of the past five years as I carefully unwrap the delicate items in this small package.  My roommates graciously allow me to adorn our tree with the memories of the past five years.  The new Christmas tree laden with memories of the past reminds me of the mixed emotions surrounding this season of transition.

A flood of memories accompanies each of these ornaments!

This year, I celebrate Christmas in new ways.  The familiarity of the Colmar market, BFA Middle School Christmas party, and small group caroling have given way to new holiday traditions here in Pittsburgh!

Light-Up Night in Pittsburgh

The Joy of Cookies tour with a college friend and her mom

To all of you who join me in forming new traditions this year...

... celebrating in a new place or with new people

... remembering a loved one who is no longer at your table

... facing challenging changes in your circumstances 

We worship the same Jesus who never changes.  He is Emmanuel, God with us, in our uncertainty (Matthew 1:23).

And to those of you who feel like this is just another Christmas...

May Jesus show you His presence and joy in a whole new way in this season!

I'm linking up with Velvet Ashes at The Grove, where the topic of the week is "tradition."