When Oceans Rise

It had been a busy week.  There was a basketball game to watch and small group to lead.  There had been baking for a dorm and a guest to host.  And, of course, there were lesson plans to write, activities to prepare, and assignments to grade.

My roommate and I were supposed to be leading worship for Middle School Chapel on Friday afternoon, and we had barely seen each other all week.

So, we decided to keep things simple.  A few weeks before that, Laura had invited us to lead worship for her Better Than a Super Birthday Bowl at the rehab center in Basel.  We had practiced some of her favorites - including some new ones for us - and were blown away by God's presence that night.  We were a humble gathering of honest worshippers of all ages, believing in God's transforming power in our lives, especially Laura's.  The memory will forever be etched in my mind of Laura's beautiful smile and passionate praise, the strains of Dayla's viola drawing out the melodies and harmonies, and the Holy Spirit at the center of it all.  It was a most special birthday.

I have to be honest: I wasn't expecting passion and God's obvious Presence at Middle School Chapel that Friday.

I have been discouraged lately by the lack of enthusiastic participation in chapel worship.  Even more, I always feel like I am hurriedly "switching hats" as I transition from classroom teacher to worship leader in under four minutes.  Not to mention, it had been so busy of a week that I hadn't really prepared my own heart to lead others into His presence.

I closed my eyes to focus on the lyrics of the first song and felt His presence as I sang the familiar words: "When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine."  When I opened my eyes, I saw students singing along, closing their eyes, raising their hands.  While these acts aren't the only indicators of the heart, they were an encouragement to me and a reminder of God's power at work.

That week was already a few weeks ago.  It seems that one busy week leads into another and another and another.  Last weekend, many BFA high schoolers and staff boarded charter buses for a 48-hour whirlwind retreat in the walled city of Nürnberg.  A highlight for me was the opportunity to worship God in song six times over the course of the weekend.  I felt my soul coming alive again, removed from the distractions of busy routine and unending to-do lists.  My emotional and physical exhaustion brought me to my knees in a much-needed position of deep dependence on Him.  Where I was supposed to be all along.

It's no coincidence that one of the songs repeated several times at the retreat was "Oceans" - the same song from Laura's birthday and Middle School Chapel.

"And I will call upon Your Name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine"

How could I rest in the midst of a storm?  I visualized myself gasping for breath, furiously treading water to "keep my eyes above the waves."  But this picture is all wrong.  Resting in a sea of troubled waters depends not on futile human effort, but rather intentional focus on Christ and total trust in Him.  It's not about how hard I try, but about what He has already done.  Self-reliance is futile; His embrace brings comfort, protection, and restoration.

I pray that, when oceans rise, we will choose to rest in His embrace and allow Him to lead us deeper still.

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior."